my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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