if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
