Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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