i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
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I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize