We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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