clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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