I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
