Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need help removing her.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
did i walk over a car last night?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up