I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
