Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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