all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
