I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
