Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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