Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My ass is underappreciated
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
