just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
