Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
