she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
