so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
