It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
