i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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