Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
