you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
