i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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