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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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