is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize