CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
