Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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