i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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