i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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