we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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