Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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