Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
