i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
