I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize