Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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