Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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