wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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