WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
They have beer where we have blood.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
