hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
