If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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