(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
