marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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