Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
pop tarts are not kleenex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize