youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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