i don't like sucking hair
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
