Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
