There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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