I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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