please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
