shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
