when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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