theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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