i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
