"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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