That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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