he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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