I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
