Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm always down for nudity.
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