Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize