I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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