I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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