I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just want to make out with him forever
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
