If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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