I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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