her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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