ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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