I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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