I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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